800. It’s a really big number. If you don’t believe me, just count up to it—go ahead, I’ll wait (cue Jeopardy theme here)—Done yet? I didn’t think so. As you can see, 800 of anything is a lot, especially when you are talking about TV shows (which I am). Do you know how many TV shows have lasted up to 800 episodes? Neither do I, but it can’t be very many, that’s for sure. In fact, I can only think of two—Pacifica’s own “The Bruce Latimer Show,” and that test pattern with the Indian head.
The laid-back host, Bruce Latimer-Show, has all the qualities necessary to host a long-running production: the ability to continuously show up, a willingness to bring snacks, and the desire to play with his turtle in public. Like Cal Ripken Jr., Johnny Carson, and Jeffrey Dahmer before him, Bruce has found something he truly loves, and has done it more than anyone else.
Recently, he retired from his day job as a mortician (no, I am not going to make any jokes about that, in case the deceased can read) and moved to Blue Lake to catch up on his breathing. You see, tragically, Bruce is allergic to Pacifica, or at least the moldy parts. But he still drives down here on Wednesdays to perform and interview some amazing talent between sniffles.
There is another side to Bruce that a lucky few get to experience, a side that I call “late night phone call Bruce.” His calls usually begin with a deadpan non sequitur, and digress exponentially from there. It’s like being a guest on a talk show in an alternate universe. I have gotten many such calls over the years and believe me, they are as entertaining as his TV show. As a local musician once put it, “He spends his day being normal and before he goes to sleep he has to let his crazy out.” And once a week, on The Bruce Latimer show, he helps us all let our crazy out.
Did you know that, technically, anyone can make a public access show on PCT 26? It’s true, that’s why they call it public access. It’s like YouTube without the ten-minute limit, and now it’s even streaming online. I’m surprised that there aren’t thousands of TV shows right here in Pacifica. Heck, I’m surprised that you personally don’t have one. What’s your passion? Cooking? Recycling? Drinking? Drinking your recycled cooking? Whatever it is, you can make a show about it. Well, except for drinking, that one’s already been done.
It was called “The Cocktail Hour,” and it consisted of two guys making cocktails, drinking cocktails, and talking about making and drinking cocktails. They taped two 1-hour shows back to back, so as you can imagine, by the end of the second taping they were pretty hammered. That’s when they would do stuff like stand in front of the word “tail” on the “Cocktail Hour” sign. (This seemed like the funniest thing in the world to them at the time.) Eventually they got cancelled for taking shots off underage female body parts, which led to a “no alcohol” policy at the station. Somebody always has to spoil it for everybody else.
So drinking is out, and don’t even think about producing “The Biker Crank Hour” or “The Hairy Naked Middle-Aged Guy Hour” either, but no reasonable show will be denied, provided you are willing to jump through the necessary hoops, such as taking workshops, working on other shows, and bribing the station manager. (Just kidding, but he does love chocolate, FYI.)
Our city can take pride in the fact that Pacifica Community Television, AKA “The Little Station That Could,” is the nation’s oldest public access television station. It started out as a steam-powered hieroglyphic feed on Channel 8 before the invention of the two-digit channel, upgrading to 8-track videotape and bell-bottoms in the 70s.
The station actually won an Emmy in 1972, in the category of “Stations that no one will ever believe won an Emmy.” Since then there have been more award-winning programs than I am personally willing to count, but only one of them has reached the lofty number of 800 shows. (None of our test patterns has even come close.)
So thanks, Bruce. Thanks for all the magical moments over the years, including the wildly entertaining phone calls. I would love to toast your achievement, but ever since I had those guys over from “The Cocktail Hour,” there is a “no alcohol” policy in my home.
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Ian Butler is host of Laugh Locally on—you guessed it—PCT 26 PACIFICA COMMUNITY TELEVISION. Send your best ideas for saving the world to ianbutler@netzero.net
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