Riptide Scoop: Feds Blow Up Bag of Poop

John Webb, our Humboldt connection, passes along this story he heard from a friend on the Russian River: "A Jenner resident rides her horse to the Jenner Post Office early each morning to pick up her mail. She has become embroiled in an ongoing dispute with another resident over her use of a public parking space in front of the P.O. Her horse often relieves itself in the parking space. One recent morning, the aggrieved gentleman had had enough of the horse poop in the parking space. He placed the smelly mess in a bag with a note on it inside the P.O. A county sheriff's deputy investigated the bag of poop and decided that he had better play it safe and call it in as a possible terrorist attack on the P.O. One never knows what evils might lurk in a bag of horse poop. The California Highway Patrol was called in. After looking askance at this obviously deadly booby trap, CHP decided to alert the Feds at Homeland Security. The Feds sent the bomb squad from San Francisco to Jenner. After all the experts were consulted and ultrasensitive X-ray equipment failed to indicate the presence of horse poop, the Feds took the next step and exploded the bag with their own explosive device in front of the P.O., which got sprayed with horse manure. After half a day and $40,000 of taxpayers' money, the Feds officially determined that it was indeed horse poop!

 

       

Comments

[Steve Sinai]

They did it all wrong! They were supposed to place the bag of horse poop outside the entrance to the Post Office, and then set it on fire.

[John Maybury]

our source said yes, but then it wouldn't be the first time that a country boy had a little fun with us city slickers

[Vaughn Harrison]

Postmaster I spoke with in another community has heard nothing re this. Are you sure it's legit?

[Dan Underhill]

The internal combustion engine and the motor car were introduced as being the end of the terrible problem of pollution. The "pollution" they were referring to was the ubiquitous horse poop on the roadways.

I think that exploding it isn't really the best method of cleaning it up.