By Nat Fudge of the The Fudge Report
Several years ago, when The Extreme Right to Life (ERL) made its debut with the slogan “Every Egg a Person” and announced its intention to pass a constitutional amendment banning menstruation, it was assumed that ERL's ultimate demands would soon be met, but now a U.S. Senate candidate, along with a V.P. candidate, have introduced a brand-new element into the discussion with what they call “legitimate rape.”
And now that "legitimate rape" has become a legitimate topic, legislation in the House is being drawn up to protect the parental rights of legitimate rapists who heretofore have been denied the rights conferred on all other fathers.
As one congressional staffer put it, “If the LGBT community can have access to children, then the parental rights of the legitimate rapist community should also be recognized.” One of the unnamed authors of the bill added, “Yes, they are felons and, yes, they are sexual predators, and since it is our intention to ban abortions for women who are legitimately raped, then it is incumbent upon us to provide the resulting children with fathers, even if the fathers happen to be in prison or on the run."
So far, at least 37 Senators have pen in hand ready to sign onto a Senate version, which differs only slightly from the House version in requiring that “while the father is in prison, the children must visit the fathers at least once a month so that the fathers are able to participate in the joyous experience of the growth and development of their accidental offspring.” No mention has been made of fathers on the run, but legislation in that area is expected soon.
White House sources state that the president will seriously consider signing the final bill, provided there is bipartisan support and if representatives of the major religious communities raise no serious objections.