The earth is flat. This whole global warming thing is a scam. Trickle-down economics work, and although we had to destroy the village to save the village, I am not a crook, and we've had enough damned talk about the highway widening already.
Troublemaking is afoot. A number of ne'er-do-wells have had the unmitigated gall to request that the City of Pacifica, a sponsoring agency of the Calera Parkway Project, sit down with its residents to talk about the project’s scope and what the city’s approach to it will be—something the city thus far has actively refused to do.
And that’s a really odd thing; you’d think there would be—oh, I don’t know—if nothing else, merely a bit of curiosity on the part of our elected representatives about the role the city will play in a $50+ million project running through the heart of our town, if it’s the best fit for our town, or how residents feel about it, etc., etc. But nope: Cue the crickets, for Saint Caltrans can do no wrong.
These rabble-rousers have been getting a fair bit of serious press coverage lately, and it’s been making Sauron a wee bit uncomfortable as the increased scrutiny is making it difficult to dissemble and explain away the reasoning behind the city’s refusal to openly discuss the imagined highway project.
So, having been summoned by Sauron himself, the Nazgûl, clad in shorts and loud Hawaiian shirts, have stumbled from Mount Doom’s bars to mobilize Pacifica’s mightiest keyboard warriors to arms: the 33 1/3rd Insanity Squadron (“The Fightin’ Shadows”).
“Daddy, what did YOU do in the Great War?”
“Why, I spent $500 to have facts I pulled out of my ass put into print, honey.”
The group’s most recent flailing-about has been to flush more than 500 American dollars down the toilet on a half-page comedy piece in the February 19-25, 2014 Pacifica Tribune, which declares, among other things, that Highway 1 is dangerous (“dangerous” is underlined so that everyone will understand just how dangerous it is), that 99 percent(!) of Pacifica supports the widening project, and oh, the children, won’t someone think of the children?!
(Guys: don’t you know that all jingoistic propaganda should always, always, include references to 9/11 and terrorism—you really whiffed on this one.)
I respectfully request that a second ad be taken out to answer the questions the first ad has now raised:
(1) If Highway 1 is such a deathtrap, shouldn't the city immediately sit down and talk with the public about this?
(2) Why does Caltrans’ own report state that its project doesn't address safety issues? We should get Caltrans to go back to the drawing board and return with a better project—yikes, people are dying out there every day!
(3) Why would a cause that claims 99 percent support be asking additional supporters to join—they've already got 99 percent of this town locked up! It’s almost as if the 99 percent number is completely made up and is merely intended to evoke images of “Occupy Wall Street.”
(4) The children! My god, won’t someone think of the children?!
Ape Shall Not Kill Ape