In an often in-your-face, uncensored social world, should people feel free to voice or do whatever they want? Is policing one’s words and actions social etiquette or lying? In its latest research to understand the benefits of self-monitoring, these are the questions that pioneer in online personality tests, Queendom.com, attempted to answer.
There’s something joyfully painful about watching period dramas set in the early 1900s. People never really came out and said what they really wanted to say, and when they did, it was still done with the utmost tact possible. By comparison, peruse Twitter posts these days, and the drawing of social lines in the sand has become a thing of the past. How has this affected everyday social interaction? Are people who say whatever they want glorified for their bold honesty? Not quite, according to Queendom.com’s latest research.
Assessing data from 1,665 people, Queendom’s statistics reveal that people who do not self-monitor (purposely regulate their words or actions in social situations) are slightly less popular among their social group than those who do (65 vs. 68). They are also less sensitive to social cues (68 vs. 74), have more difficulty understanding body language (59 vs. 71), and have much more trouble controlling their anger (54 vs. 77).
Queendom’s statistics also revealed that:
· 69% of low self-monitors take their anger or frustration out on others (compared to 26% of high self-monitors). · 73% of low self-monitors do not think before they speak (compared to 2% of high self-monitors). · 80% of low self-monitors act impulsively (compared to 3% of high self-monitors). · 64% of low self-monitors admit that they often say things that they later regret (compared to 4% of high self-monitors). · 66% of low self-monitors have embarrassed their family or friends in social situations (compared to 7% of high self-monitors). · 62% of low self-monitors have been called “insensitive” (compared to 3% of high self-monitors). · When very angry, the top response for low self-monitors (44%) was to let their anger out (arguing, yelling) without holding anything back. The top answer for high self-monitors (53%) was to step away from the situation or person that is upsetting them, and try to put it in perspective. · If the situation calls for it, 94% of high self-monitors said that they would be able to be friendly with someone they dislike; only 13% of low self-monitors said they would be able to do this.
“On one side, we have a group of people who believe in telling it like it is, no holds barred, no mincing of words,” explains Dr. Ilona Jerabek, president of PsychTests. “On the other side we have a group of people who carefully regulate what they say and how they say it, and who show more restraint in their behavior.”
So is one group being honest and the other being fake? The answer lies in the data.“People generally feel that being tactful in social situations is still the way to go,” points out Dr. Jerabek. “It’s not a matter of being fake but rather, making it a point to adapt to the social context – to empathize, to make others feel comfortable, and to create harmonious interactions. Low self-monitors are not able -- or not willing -- to do this.”
So how do people self-monitor without feeling like they’re being fake?“A little bit of civility and diplomacy never killed anyone, and they make social interactions so much smoother,” says Dr. Jerabek. “You can still get your message across. You can deliver criticism. You can disagree with someone’s opinion. But you can do it without offending. The bonus is that this way, others don’t get defensive because they feel respected, and that makes a whole world of difference.”
Here’s what the researchers at Queendom.com advise:
· Use the phrase, "I understand.” This phrase will support your goals if the tension is high and you need to find common ground to form compromises or agreements with others. You can disagree with them, and still appreciate their point of view. This is one of the tenants of good negotiation skills – show them you know where they are coming from, show them that you understand their point of view. Point out what you have in common before pressing on with your viewpoint or demands. Chances are that antagonism will be replaced with a spirit of collaboration. · Own your feelings. Consider the difference between “You always do things without thinking about how I will feel” vs. “I feel like my opinion doesn’t matter.” “You” phrases put the other person on the defensive. “I” phrases allow them to see things from your point of view. · Take a time-out. It's important to cool down emotionally when circumstances make you feel angry, even if it’s just going outside for a few minutes of fresh air. You will be able to be more objective about the issue once you’ve calmed down and cleared your head. By taking a time-out (just like we do with children), you will avoid succumbing to the impulse to snap or lash out at others. · Observe human behavior. Invest a conscious effort to "read" and understand others. Pay attention to how others are reacting and what they are communicating with you. Putting in that extra effort to really listen and observe can teach you a lot about human interaction and emotions. Sensitivity to situational cues is a key element of self-monitoring. The more attentive you are to people around you, the more information you have at your disposal to guide your expressive self-presentation. · Consider others. In today’s world, the ability to get beyond black-and-white thinking, to be open-minded with others, to change one's way of looking at events, and to focus on the best solution for a given situation is essential for success. Without flexibility and a willingness to consider the perspectives and feelings of others, you are creating additional, unnecessary obstacles for yourself. To build a more flexible mindset, try doing the following: o Put aside your own preoccupations to consider what might be going through other people's minds in different situations. Ask yourself how you would feel in similar circumstances. In every situation, there are several perspectives. Try to identify at least 2 or 3 different ways to look at it. o Put empathy in action. Get involved in helping people in some way, like volunteering. The closer you get to a situation emotionally, the more you realize the difficulties others might be facing.
Queendom.com is a subsidiary of PsychTests AIM Inc. Queendom.com is a site that creates an interactive venue for self-exploration with a healthy dose of fun. The site offers a full range of professional-quality, scientifically validated psychological assessments that empower people to grow and reach their real potential through insightful feedback and detailed, custom-tailored analysis.
PsychTests AIM Inc. originally appeared on the Internet scene in 1996. Since its inception, it has become a pre-eminent provider of psychological assessment products and services to human resource personnel, therapists, academics, researchers and a host of other professionals around the world. PsychTests AIM Inc. staff is comprised of a dedicated team of psychologists, test developers, researchers, statisticians, writers, and artificial intelligence experts. The company’s research division, Plumeus Inc., is supported in part by the Research and Development Tax Credit awarded by Industry Canada.
Contact: Ilona Jerabek, Ph.D. President of PsychTests AIM Inc. 9001 Boul. De L’Acadie, Suite 802 Montreal, Quebec, H4N 3H5 email@example.com tel: 514-745-3189, ext. 112
Please take a moment to call President Obama and your national legislators to stop the raising of Medicare deductibles. The New York Times reported on March 29 that the president is willing to raise the Medicare deductible from $147 a year to $1331. He would do this by combining the deductible for hospital visits and office visits.
Tell President Obama that we want Medicare expanded, not cut. Please support HR 676, the Expanded and Improved Medicare for All Act. Call President Obama at 202-456-1414. You can make free calls to the Capitol Switchboard, then ask to be connected to Senator Feinstein, Senator Boxer, and Congresswoman Speier: 1-877-762-8762 or 1-800-826-3688.
Help us continue our campaign to save Medicare by donating to Single Payer Now, PO Box 460622, San Francisco, CA 94146. Thank you.
This winter's vicious flu epidemic threatens everyone, but especially seniors, and now their families are fighting back with “Fight the Flu" kits and caregivers to protect their elderly loved ones. Weaker immune systems make seniors more vulnerable to the flu and that’s why 90 percent of all flu-related deaths and more than half of flu-related hospitalizations occur in people age 65 or older.
That’s why Visiting Angels, one of the nation’s largest in-home senior care companies, helps local families in two ways: assembling Visiting Angels "Fight the Flu" kits so seniors can protect themselves from the flu; offering in-home senior flu service, where caregivers sanitize seniors’ homes and run errands for them (e.g., drugstore, market) so they’re not exposed to the flu; taking seniors to get their flu shot; caring for seniors at home and taking them to the doctor if they have the flu.
Visiting Angels “Fight the Flu" kits include items available at most retail stores:
Paper towels: Use paper towels in the bathroom instead of hand towels, which can harbor germs. Medisim TempleTouch™ thermometer: Fever higher than 102 degrees could indicate flu. Pocket-size hand sanitizer, with aloe: Helps keep skin germ-free and moisturized. Pens: Carry your own pen – pens shared in public areas carry a ton of germs. Disinfectant: Spray doorknobs, handles, and light switches, etc. every few days – viruses can live up to 48 hours on plastic and stainless-steel surfaces. Hand soap: Recent studies show plain soap and water work just as well as, if not better than, antibacterial soaps. Hand sanitizer wipes: These are handy to have on the go, whether to clean hands or public surfaces. Don’t rely on just baby wipes because they do not kill germs.
Avoid these places that carry the most germs: Public restrooms, especially the sink, because bacteria can survive there the longest. (Source: University of Arizona study) Malls, especially food court tables, because rags used to “clean” can spread harmful bacteria – they can contain E. coli because they are not cleaned or changed regularly. (Source: Mailman School of Public Health at Columbia University) Grocery stores – This is where many people go when they are sick, whether to get some juice, chicken noodle soup, or medicine. As much as 80 percent of shopping cart handles tested nationwide had E. coli bacteria, according to Charles Gerba, Ph.D., University of Arizona. Restaurants – One of the dirtiest areas is tabletops due to the “clean” rag used to wipe them down. (Source: Lifescript) Libraries – Some of the dirtiest areas are the books, computers, and tabletops, just from the many people who touch them each day. (Source: Lifescript)
By Lisa Collier Cool YAHOO! HEALTH November 26, 2012
If you’re tempted to skip your flu shot, consider this: Getting vaccinated cuts risk for a heart attack or stroke by up to 50 percent, according to two studies presented at the Canadian Cardiovascular Congress.
Scientists from TIMU Study Group and Network for Innovation in Clinical Research analyzed published clinical trials involving a total of 3,227 patients, half of whom had been diagnosed with heart disease. Participants, whose average age was 60, were randomly assigned to either receive flu vaccine or a placebo shot, then their health was tracked for 12 months.
Those who got the flu shot were 50 percent less likely to suffer major cardiac events (such as heart attacks or strokes) and 40 percent less likely to die of cardiac causes. Similar trends were found in patients with and without previous heart disease. The findings suggest “that flu vaccine is a heart vaccine,” lead study author Jacob Udell told Fox News.
Why do flu shots help prevent heart attacks? To learn more, I talked to Bradley Bale, MD, medical director of the Heart Health Program for Grace Clinic in Lubbock, Texas.
A number of studies have shown a link between heart attacks and a prior respiratory infection. A 2010 study of about 78,000 patients age 40 or older found that those who had gotten a flu shot in the previous year were 20 percent less likely to suffer a first heart attack, even when such cardiovascular risks as smoking, high cholesterol, hypertension and diabetes were taken in account.
Scarier still, researchers report that up to 91,000 Americans a year die from heart attacks and strokes triggered by flu. This grim statistic prompted the American Heart Association and American College of Cardiology to issue guidelines recommending vaccination for patients with cardiovascular disease (CVD). The CDC advises flu shots for everyone over six months of age, but cautions that certain people should check with a medical provider before being immunized.
Sadly, fewer than half of Americans with high-risk conditions like heart disease get the shot, leaving themselves dangerously unprotected against both flu complications and cardiovascular events. In fact, the CDC actually uses heart attack rates to track seasonal flu outbreaks, says Dr. Bale. “They look for areas with a sudden surge in heart attacks and send a team to investigate, because the cause is almost always a spike in flu cases.”
To picture how flu could ignite a heart attack or stroke in someone with CVD, think of cholesterol plaque as kindling, says Dr. Bale. “Inflammation, which has recently been shown to actually cause heart attacks, is what lights the match, causing plaque to explosively rupture through the arterial wall.”
When a plaque rupture tears the blood vessel lining, the body tries to heal the injury by forming a blood clot. If the clot obstructs a coronary artery, it can trigger a heart attack, while a clot that travels to the brain could ignite an ischemic stroke. It’s a myth that plaque buildup alone sparks heart attacks, since numerous studies have shown that what chokes off flow to the heart is a clot.
“Inflammation is a key player in destabilizing plaque, explaining why some people with relatively little build up in their arteries have heart attacks or stroke, while others with substantial plaque deposits never suffer these events,” says Dr. Bale, who advises all of his patients to get flu shots to guard against inflammation, the body’s response to viral and bacterial infections.
Another surprising benefit of getting a flu shot is reduced risk for pulmonary embolism (a blood clot in the lungs) and deep vein thrombosis (a clot in the legs). A 2008 study found that the threat of developing these problems dropped by 26 percent overall in participants who had been vaccinated in the previous year, with a 48 percent risk reduction in patients younger than 52.
Along with a flu shot, Dr. Bale recommends two other vaccinations to reduce heart attack and stroke risk. If you’re 50 or older and have CVD. If you don’t have plaque in your arteries, you should still get these shots, but at an older age, as discussed below:
The herpes zoster vaccination against shingles. This shot protects against reactivation of the chickenpox virus almost everyone was exposed to during childhood. The virus, which lies dormant in nerve cells, can flare up, typically in older people, and cause a blistering skin rash that can lead to chronic nerve pain. Two large studies report that people who develop shingles are at up to four times higher risk for stroke, highlighting the value of vaccination. While shingles usually targets people who are 60 or older, about 20 percent of cases occur in people ages 50 to 59, which is why Dr. Bale advises being vaccinated at 50 if you have CVD. The CDC recommends the shot for everyone who is 65 or older, and people who are 19 or older and smoke or have asthma.
Vaccination against pneumococcal pneumonia. If you’re 65 or older—or younger with risk factors for pneumonia—such as heart failure, chronic pulmonary disease, or diabetes—the CDC advises being immunized against pneumococcal pneumonia. A study of more than 84,000 people found that those who had been vaccinated were at lower risk for both heart attack and stroke. Given these benefits, Dr. Bale advises heart patients to be immunized at 50.
San Mateo County Get Healthy Collaborative is working to inform organizations and community leaders about ways our communities can “Get Healthy.” As a result of Get Healthy’s efforts over the past eight years, San Mateo County’s obesity rates declined this past year by 5.6 percent, making it one of only three Bay Area counties where obesity rates decreased.
Get Healthy’s redesigned website, www.gethealthysmc.org, provides a one-stop shop where people can share information, discover creative ways to stay active, and become informed on upcoming events, workshops, and available funding to support local programs.
Starting as a task force to prevent childhood obesity, Get Healthy has grown into a successful collaboration of cities, community leaders, and organizations across the county. Because wellness begins where people live, learn, work, and play, Get Healthy works to develop strategies that can reduce and prevent obesity-related health conditions associated with unhealthy eating and physical inactivity. Get Healthy places a special focus on the areas in the county with the fewest opportunities and options for physical activity and healthy food.
The Get Healthy website is all about what is happening locally, such as bike lanes, organizations with wellness policies, reducing sugary drink consumption, and Safe Routes to School. Get Healthy is also launching its new Facebook Page, www.facebook.com/gethealthysmc. Visit www.gethealthysmc.org and click “join us” to be added to the mailing list.