From an interview with the head Beefeater at the Tower of London:
Q: What’s the worst thing about the job?
A: Sometimes it’s hard to get a pizza delivered because when you say “Can you come to the Tower of London?” they think you’re joking.
(Chief Yeoman Warder Pete McGowran, quoted in Britain Magazine, March/April 2019)
Poster at Oakland supermarket
Many years ago, when Pacifican Alan Wald learned that the new Ritz-Carlton in Half Moon Bay would need to fill more than 300 new jobs, he not only applied for a job but also applied to the DMV for personalized license plates for his two cars: RITZ HMB and HMB RITZ. As it turned out, Wald didn't get the job. ("Too old," they said.) Wald muses, "I guess you could say I applied for a job at the Ritz, and all I got were these crummy license plates."
Alan Wald's brother-in-law and sister, Jerry and Lynne Shaw, enjoy coffee and a view of Catalina Island from the deck of Starbucks in Palos Verdes, California. "Does this beat your Taco Bell?" they quipped.
A Zen master visiting New York City goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen master, who pays with a $20 bill. The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it. "Excuse me, but where’s my change?" asks the Zen master. The vendor responds, "Change must come from within."